The Duck Cleaning

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: Duck Cleaning

Characters: Frank Rizzo

Summary: 

“The Duck Cleaning” features Frank Rizzo turning a strange request into a loud and chaotic prank call. The conversation begins with an unusual premise and quickly escalates. Miscommunication drives the humor forward at a fast pace. Frank’s bold delivery keeps the energy high throughout. It captures the raw, unscripted style that made the Jerky Boys famous. Fans enjoy its bizarre concept and intensity. The call stands out for its nonstop escalation. A memorable piece of classic prank call comedy.

Transcript:

0:00 Phone rings

0:02 Chysel: ‘Hello.”

0:03 Voice 1:“Hello.”

0:04 Chysel: “Is this duck cleanin’?

0:06 Voice 1: “Yes, it is. May I ask who’s speaking?”

0:08 Chysel:  “This is Chysel.”

0:11: Voice 1: “Who?”

0:12 Chysel: “Chysel.”

0:13 Voice 1: “Chysel who?”

0:14 Chysel:  “My name is Chysel.”

0:16 Voice 1: “Chysel?”

0:17 Chysel: “Right. This is duck cleaning, right?”

0:19 Voice 1: “Correct.”

0:20 Chysel: “Yeah, I went hunting yesterday with my grandson. We bagged some ducks. We don’t know how to clean ‘em.”

0:27 Voice 1: [Laughs] Okay. We don’t do that kind of duck cleaning, sir. Neither can we clean geese or chicken. We clean air ducts. Maybe you…”

0:35 Chysel: “They were fine in the air. They were going quack. quack, quack.”

0:38: Voice 1: “What is this?”

0:39: Chysel: “Look up. I got me a [Inaudible 00:46] now.”

0:46 Voice 1: “You do.”

0:47 Chysel: “Right.”

0:48 Voice1: “Oh, that [Inaudible 00:48] should be pretty nice. Do you have…?”

0:50 Chysel: “I told my wife down on it.”

0:51 Voice 1: [Laughs]

0:53 Chysel: “What’s so funny? You ever see what my wife looks like in a negligee?”

0:58 Voice 1”: [Laughs]

0:59 Chysel: “She neglected her body should I say.”

1:02 Voice 1: “Oh my God!  Who am I speaking with?”

1:05 Chysel: “This is Chysel.

1:06 Voice 1: “Chysel, who?”

1:07 Chysel: “I heard you clean ducks, that’s why I called.”

1:09 Voice 1: “Okay, but you already made the [Inaudible 01:11] your ducks are already clean.”

1:14 Chysel: “No. no. They are all filthy.”

1:16 Voice 1: “Oh, they are?”

1:17 Chysel: “Yeah, they are…”

1:18 Voice 1: “What is your home address?’

1:19 Chysel: “The pillows stink. It smells like that ducks”

1:23 Voice 1: “Who is this?”

1:24 Chysel: “Quack, quack, quack.”

1:30 Voice 1: “Hello.”

1:31 Chysel: “My grandson bagged a few ducks.”

1:33 Voice 1: “He did?”

1:34 Chysel: “What’s good for the goose is good for my grandkid.”

1:38 Voice 1: “Is it?” [Laughs]

1:40 Chysel: “Hello.”

1:41 Voice 1: “Oh.”

1:42 Chysel: “Hello.”

1:43 Voice1: “Would you like me to schedule you for the work to be done?”

1:44 Chysel: “Thank you”

1:45 Voice 1: “May I ask who I’m speaking with?”

1:46 Chysel: “This is Chysel.”

1:47 Voice 1: “Okay. What’s your home address?

1:48 Chysel: “Quack, quack, quack.”

1:51 Voice 1: [Laughs] “Who is this?”[Inaudible 00:54]

1:56 Chysel: “I’ll give you my address.”

1:58 Voice 1: “And where’s that?”

2:00 Chysel: “Hello,”

2:01 Voice 1: “Huh.”

2:02 Chysel: “What you laughing at?”

2:03 Voice 1: [Laughs]

2:04 Chysel: “You’ve never see ducks before?”

2:07 Voice1: “Huh?”

2:08 Chysel: “You’ve never a duck before?

2:09 Voice1: “No…”

2:10 Chysel: “Look up…quack, quack, quack,”

2:15 Voice 1: [Laughs] No, I haven’t”

2:18 Chysel: “Thank you”

2:19 Voice 1 hangs up.