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Tarbash’s New Shoes

The Jerky Boys, album 3

Title: Tarbash’s New Shoes

Characters: Tarbash

Summary: 

“Tarbash’s New Shoes” features Ali Kamal as Tarbash turning a simple shoe conversation into a comedic exchange. The call starts normally but quickly escalates. Repetition and persistence drive the humor. Miscommunication adds to the chaos. Tarbash’s unique voice defines the experience. Fans enjoy its unpredictable flow. The pacing keeps listeners engaged throughout. A classic example of character-driven Jerky Boys comedy.

Transcript:

0:01 Phone rings…

0:03 Voice 1: “Hello?”

0:04 Voice 2: “Hello? Hello?”

0:06 Voice 1: “Yes. Hi.”

0:07 Voice 2: “I need you to help me. My shoe, my cat is ripping my shoe apart. They are getting out.” Man screaming. “Hello. My toe is hanging out so bad I could say hello to it. Can you please [Inaudible 00:00:23]?” Man screaming. Oh. Oh. Hello?”

0:32 Voice 1: “Yes.”

0:33 Voice 2: “Yeah, I do. Can you help me? What do you – yeah – would you help me?”

0:37 Voice 1: “Who is this?”

0:38 Voice 2: ‘What the – who do you think it is? I am a magician. I need my shoe for tonight. I’m doing a gig.”

0:44 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

0:45 Voice 2: “And what the – I – my shoe – my toe. I could play piggy. This little piggy went to the market. But my shoe is ripped.”

0:52 Voice 1: “Yeah?”

0:53 Voice 2: “Yeah. Yeah. What the hell? Can you fix it?”

0:54 Voice 1: “Where are the shoes?”

0:56 Voice 2: “What? On my feet. My cat is attacking me. I am supposed to train them tonight.”

1:01 Voice 1: “Why are you screaming at me?”

1:03 Voice 2: “Because the cat is – get down, catty. Kitty cat. Kitty cat, get down. Get down.” Man screaming. “Oh. Oh. Hello?”

1:20 Voice 1: “So what do you want me to do?”

1:22 Voice 2: “I want you to close them up?”

1:23 Voice 1: “So bring it over.”

1:26 Voice 2: “I need you to do this. I want you to do this.”

1:28 Voice 1: What the fuckin’ hell do you want from me?

1:30 Man screaming. “Hello?”