Scaffolding – the woke version

Title: Inclusive Construction Crew

[Setting: A construction site]

Characters:

• Alex: A conscientious construction worker
• Steve: The foreman, committed to diversity and inclusion
• Caller: A concerned citizen

Summary:
A concerned citizen calls a construction site to report unsafe scaffolding. Instead of pushback, they’re met with calm agreement, inclusive language, and overly polite corporate-speak from the workers. The humor builds through excessive professionalism and shared virtue signaling, turning a safety complaint into a parody of modern workplace sensitivity. Read more about the Jerky Boys prank calls.

Transcript:

[Phone rings on site, Alex answers]

Alex: (picks up the phone) Hello?

Caller: Yeah, hi. Is this the construction site?

Alex: Yes, it is. How can I assist you?

Caller: Um, yeah. I’m calling because I saw something really concerning. I was walking by and I noticed that your crew is working on scaffolding without any safety harnesses or gear.

Alex: (pause) Oh, I see what you mean. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. Safety is our utmost priority here.

Caller: Well, I would hope so. I mean, it’s 2024. We should be beyond putting workers’ lives at risk for the sake of construction.

Alex: Absolutely. I completely agree with you. Let me assure you that we take safety very seriously. We have regular safety meetings, provide comprehensive training, and ensure that all our workers have the necessary protective equipment.

Caller: Okay, well, I just wanted to make sure. It’s just not right for workers to be in danger like that.

Alex: You’re absolutely right. Thank you for calling. We appreciate your concern.

[End of call]

Steve: (approaching Alex) Everything okay, Alex?

Alex: Yeah, it was just someone calling about the scaffolding. They were concerned about safety.

Steve: (nodding) Good on them for speaking up. Safety is paramount. Let’s make sure all our crews are properly equipped and trained.

Alex: Absolutely, Steve. We’re all in this together.

[They nod in agreement, and the scene fades out with the crew ensuring safety measures are in place.]

The Setup

A caller phones in to report unsafe scaffolding practices. But instead of defensiveness, they’re met with complete understanding, layered affirmations, and corporate-polished safety talk. As the conversation drifts toward excessive courtesy and performative care, the laugh emerges naturally.

Like many classic comedy albums from the crank call legends, the absurdity lies not in confrontation, but in the fact that no one pushes back at all.

Who Are the Jerky Boys?

The Jerky Boys were created by Johnny Brennan and Kamal Ahmed in Queens, New York. They first gained underground fame in the late 1980s and early 1990s through self-released cassette tapes featuring raw, unscripted prank calls. Their breakthrough came with the albums The Jerky Boys (1993) and The Jerky Boys 2 (1994), which sold millions by delivering genuine chaos: voices improvised in real time, unsuspecting victims caught completely off guard, and no safety nets or scripts to fall back on.

The group’s brilliance lies in their unforgettable recurring characters:

• Sol Rosenberg: The perpetually anxious, whiny victim (frequently voiced by Kamal Ahmed).
• Jack Tors: The deeply insecure, bizarre oddball.
• Frank Rizzo: The loud, profane, thick-accented tough guy (voiced by Johnny Brennan), loosely inspired by Brennan’s strict father and the real-life former Philadelphia mayor of the same name. Frank is abrasive, entitled, socially clueless, and prone to shouting insults like “liver lips” or “assneck.” He demands the impossible and signs off with threats like “I’ll be there tomorrow with my tools, fuckface!”

Frank Rizzo remains one of the most iconic prank-call characters in comedy history. He has starred in dozens of skits across multiple albums, appeared in the 1995 Jerky Boys feature film, and even returned for the group’s 2020 revival.

A Piece of Comedy History

The Jerky Boys built their reputation with unpredictable phone calls that escalated from mundane to mayhem. This skit flips that idea on its head. It’s calm, compliant, and cautious and that’s what makes it funny.

It’s a satirical nod to modern professional overcorrection. Every phrase is polite. Every concern is validated. Every pause is perfectly awkward.

Why Fans Love This

• It’s painfully polite
  The excessive reassurance feels more absurd than an argument ever could.

• It sounds way too real
  Fans love that it mirrors modern customer service or HR phone calls.

• It’s a slow burn
  The laughs come from silence, pauses, and the impossibility of disagreement.

• It honors the original formula
  The skit delivers vintage Jerky Boys pacing, reimagined for a new audience.

Listen to the Skit and Relive the Chaos

If you’re new to The Jerky Boys, start with timeless classics like “Dental Malpractice,” or “Terrorist Pizza.” Then explore more Frank Rizzo highlights — from auto shops and restaurants to college admissions offices in later material.

At their best, the Jerky Boys prove that the funniest comedy often comes from relentlessly pushing the boundaries of politeness until they shatter.