Hair Vitamins

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: Hair Vitamins

Characters: Frank Rizzo

Summary:

“Hair Vitamins” features Frank Rizzo turning a simple product inquiry into a chaotic prank call. The conversation begins normally but quickly escalates. Miscommunication drives the humor forward. Frank’s bold personality dominates each exchange. The pacing remains fast and engaging. Fans enjoy its unpredictable direction. The call highlights strong character-driven comedy. A classic example of Jerky Boys humor.

Transcript:

0:00 Phone rings

0:02 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:03 Babu: “Hello, my friend.”

0:04 Voice 1: “What do you say?”

0:05 Babu: “What do I say about what my friend?”

0:07 Voice 1: “Listen, I need some vitamins.”

0:09 Babu: “You need vitamins?”

0:10 Voice 1: “Yeah to grow my hair in.”

0:12 Babu:  “Where you growing hair?”

0:13 Voice 1: “You know around my balls, my head. You know I’m losing my fucking hair.”

0:18 Babu: “On your balls?”

0:19 Voice 1: “My head and my balls. I need to grow my hair in.”

0:22 Babu: “We got vitamins for balls, not for hair.”

0:25 Voice 1: “What do you mean? Oh, you put a sperm to make yourself better?”

0:27 Babu: “Yeah.”

0:28 Voice 1: “I don’t need that shit. I’m trying to grow my hair in better?

0:30 Babu: “Right. But you want to grow hair on your balls and your ass?”

0:33 Voice 1: “I got hair on my ass, you fucking prick. What, you trying to be funny?”

0:36 Babu: “No, I’m not funny. Sir…”

0:38 Voice 1: “I’m asking you for help and you’re making fun of me.”

0:40 Babu: “No, no.”

0:41 Voice 1: “Please. Don’t make fun.”

0:42 Babu: “I’m not making fun.”

0:43 Voice 1: “Alright.”

0:44 Babu: “Does it sound like I’m making fun?”

0:45 Voice 1: “Well, I got to do some big, important shows coming up and I need hair.”

0:48 Babu: “Oh, where do you do show? Can I come to your show?”

0:51 Voice 1: “Alright, look you fuckin’ piece of shit! Get off the fucking phone. I’ll come down and kick you in the cock.”

0:55 Babu: ‘Okay. I’m at the [Inaudible 00:56] pharmacy.”

0:57 Voice 1: “I know where you are, you freak!”

0:59 Babu: “Would you like me to call you a cab?”

1:01 Voice 1: “What’s your name?”

1:02 Babu: “Hello.”

1:03 Voice 1: “Lou? How you doin’ Lou?”

1:05 Babu: “My name is Babu.”

1:06 Voice 1: “Yeah, baboon?”

1:07 Babu: “Yeah.”

1:08 Voice 1: “Get off the phone you dirty prick?

1:10 Babu: “You want me to hang up the phone?”

1:11 Voice 1: “Get off the phone. You bother me, you prick.”

1:13 Babu: “Why don’t you get off the phone?”

1:15 Voice 1: “Fuck you!”

1:16 Call ends.