Cold Feet – Frank Rizzo

The Jerky Boys, vol 4 album

Title: Cold Feet

Characters: Frank Rizzo, Acupuncturist

Summary:

“Frank Rizzo Cold Feet” features Frank Rizzo turning a simple concern into a loud and chaotic prank call. The conversation starts normally but quickly escalates. Miscommunication drives the humor forward at a fast pace. Frank’s bold delivery keeps the energy high throughout. It captures the raw, unscripted style that made the Jerky Boys famous. Fans enjoy its relatable setup and intensity. The call stands out for its nonstop escalation. A memorable piece of classic prank call comedy.

Transcript:

0:01 Phone rings..
0:02 Acupuncturist picks up and says: “May I help you?”

0:03 Frank Rizzo : “Hello.”

0:04 Acupuncturist: “Yes..”

0:05 Rizzo: “Yeah, speak up there asshole. I can barely hear ya. Hello.”

0:07 Acupuncturist: “Yes, can i help you?”

0:08 Rizzo: “Yeah, ya do acupuncture.”

0: 09 Acupuncturist: “Yes we do…”

0:10 Rizzo: “Yeah, it says there that you do cold feet.”

0:13 Acupuncturist: “Excuse me?”

0:15 Rizzo:  “I got cold feet.”

0:16 Acupuncturist: “Cold feet?”

0:17 Rizzo: “Cold feet!”

0:18 Acupuncturist: “For the feet?”

0:18 Rizzo: “Yeah.”

0:19 Acupuncturist: “That’s ok…”
0: 21 Rizzo: “You wrote the fuckin’ ad. You know what it says. Don’t cha?”

0:23 Acupuncturist: “Yeah you have the cold feet.”

0:24 Rizzo: “Yeah I got cold feet. That’s right. You got it right. Speak up there Charlie.”

0:28 Acupuncturist: “Okay.”

0:29 Rizzo: “Yeah, ya know a couple of broads I wanna ask out on dates, and I’m a little fuckin’  nervous about it. How ya goin’ cure that? Hell…”

0:38 Acupuncturist: “With the treatment.”

0:39 Rizzo: “What’s the acupuncture goin’ do? What do ya stick me in the nuts or somethin’ to make me feel a little bit better about myself?

0:44 Acupuncturist: “Yeah.”

0:45 Rizzo: “Is that what you do?”

0:46 Acupuncturist: “Yes.”

0:47 Rizzo: “Well explain how do ya do it?”

0:49 Acupuncturist: “Oh, you need to come here.”

0:50 Rizzo: “Oh, what are you goin’ to stick me with those fuckin’ needles?”

0:53 Acupuncturist: “What do you mean fucking needles?”

0:54 Rizzo: “Well how do ya do it? You stick me with that shit or what?”

0:58 Acupuncturist: “ You come here so we’ll explain.”

1:01 Rizzo: All I want to know is this: Is it goin’ loosen me up so I go out with a couple of   broads? You goin’ to make be feel betta?”

1:06 Acupuncturist: “Yeah sure.”

1:07 Rizzo: “Yeah? Cos I tell ya if you don’t, I’ll stick them fuckin’ needles in your fuckin’ face. You hear me? ”

1:13 Acupuncturist: “Not your face.”

1:15 Rizzo: I’ll stick them in your fuckin’ head…Are you going to help me or not you prick? Huh?”

1:22 Acupuncturist: “ What are talking?’

1:23 Rizzo: “I gotta get laid ya fuck.”

1:25 Acupuncturist hangs up.

1:27 Multiple people laugh.