1,000 Chickens Trilogy (Part Two)

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: 1,000 Chickens Trilogy (Part Two)

Characters: Johnny Brennan

Summary:

“1000 Chickens Part Two” continues a chaotic prank call story. The situation escalates quickly. Confusion grows throughout the call. Reactions drive the humor. Johnny Brennan keeps the momentum strong. The pacing stays engaging. Fans love the ongoing storyline. A key part of Jerky Boys comedy history.

Transcript:

0:00:   Phone rings.

0:02 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:03 Voice 2: Yeah, who’s this?”

0:04 Voice 3: “Hello.”

0:05 Voice 2: “Yeah.”

0:06 Voice 3: “This is [Inaudible 00:07]. Can I help you?”

0:09 Voice 2: “What is it?”

0:10 Voice 3: ‘”I think you have the wrong number.”

0:12 Voice 2: “I can’t hear you.”

0:14 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:15 Voice 2: “Yeah.”

0:16 Voice 1: “Hey, what’s up there, you stupid bastard! What do you say?”

0:19 Voice 2: “Who?”

0:20 Voice 1: “What’s up?”

0:21 Voice 2: “Who stupid person what you say?”

0:23 Voice 1: “You’re not the sharpest person that you are, are you pal?”

0:24 Voice 2: “What?

0:25 Voice 1: “What you doin’?”

0:26 Voice 2: “Who?”

0:27 Voice 1: “I need some chickens.”

0:29 Voice 2: “Ah!”

0:30 Voice 1: “You got chickens?”

0:31 Voice 2: “Yeah.”

0:32 Voice 1: “Alright. I need a thousand chickens.”

0:33 Voice 2: “A thousand?”

0:34 Voice 1: “Yeah, you got a thousand chickens.”

0:36 Voice 2:  Ah.”

0:37 Voice 1: “I gotta to come in and pick them up today.”

0:40 Voice 2: [Inaudible 0:40]

0:43 Voice 1: “Is something wrong with you?”

0:44 Voice 2: “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

0:45 Voice 1: ‘What you laughing at, you fucking prick? What’s the matter with you?”

0:49 Voice 2: “A thousand?”

0:50 Voice 1: “A thousand chickens. Is there something wrong with you? You never heard of anybody order thousand chickens?”

0:53 Voice 2: “[Inaudible 00:53] money for, you know.”

0:55 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:56 Voice 2: “Yeah.”

0:57 Voice 1: “I got to do business with you or what?”

0:59 Voice 2: “Yeah, yeah,”

1:00 Voice 1: “You sittin’ over there with your fingers up your ass. I’m askin’ you some questions.”

1:03 Voice 2: “Aha.”

1:04 Voice 1: “I need a thousand chickens.”

1:06 Voice 2: “You need a thousand chickens today:?”

1:08 Voice 1: “Yeah. You know the ones with the loose edges. They lay a lot of eggs”

1:13 Voice 2: “What chickens? White ones?”

1:14 Voice 1: “White ones or black… What the fuck do I care what the colors are. I’m eatin’ them. I don’t care what the colors are.”

1:17 Voice 2: “You can come over here, come.”

1:19 Voice 1: “Can you get them out in the front for me?”

1:21 Voice 2: “You can come [Inaudible 00:22]”

1:23 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 00:23] your stupid farm. Aren’t you a little busy just standing there laughing with me?”

1:27 Voice 2: “What?”

1:28 Voice 1: “I need a thousand chickens. You put them up in the front of the shop when I come by and look at them.”

1:30 Voice 2: “Alright. Come. No problem.”

1:32 Voice 1: “You’re gonna put them in little fucking pants or some shit or put them in little jackets or something?”

1:35 Voice 2: “Huh?”

1:36 Voice 1: “You put little holes on the fuckers so they look nice.”

1:40 Voice 2: ‘No. Come over here and I will talk to you when you come, alright.”

1:44 Voice 1: “I think I’m going to sit them in a taxi jackass.”

1:46 Voice 2: “Alright.”

1:47 Voice 1: “A thousand chickens in a taxi…”

1:48 Voice 2: “Alright.”

1:49 Voice 1: “What they fuck is wrong with you?”

1:50 Voice 2: “No, no, no.”

1:51 Voice 1: “So, you’re telling me you want to put a thousand chickens in a taxi cab.”

1:53 Voice 2: “Alright”

1:54 Voice 1: “Is something wrong with you?”

1:55 Voice 2: “No.”

1:56 Voice 1: “Get off the phone with me, you wacky prick!”

1:58 Voice 2: “What?”

1:59 Voice 1 hangs up the phone.