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Unemployed Painter

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: Unemployed Painter

Characters: Mike Derucki

Summary:

In this skit, a character named Mike is on a phone call seeking painting work. He contacts someone who posted an ad but realizes it was a mistake—the person on the other end is actually seeking work, not offering it. Despite the confusion, Mike engages in a friendly conversation, sharing anecdotes about his painting experiences, displaying his versatility in painting everything from cars to nails. Despite their mix-up, Mike tries to connect with the other person, jokingly suggesting they “paint each other up” and go out together. Eventually, they exchange contact information, with Mike emphasizing his location in the Village area. The conversation ends on an amicable note, with Mike wishing the person luck and exchanging goodbyes in a humorous yet cordial manner, addressing them as “fruitcake” and “sizzlechest.” Overall, it’s a lighthearted exchange showcasing miscommunication but also a friendly connection between two individuals, ending on positive and well-wishing tones despite the initial confusion.

 
 
 
 

Transcript:

0:00     Phone rings..

0:02     Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:02     Mike: “Hey! What’s up there fruitcake? I’m lookin’ for paint work.”

0:05     Voice 1: “Who is this?”

0:06     Mike: “This is Mike.”

0:08     Voice 1: “Hmm! Mike who?”

0:09     Mike: Mike Derucki. You got paint work for me or what?”

0:11     Voice 1: “No.”

0:13     Mike: “Well, it says here in the ad that you need the paint work and you got paint work and all that shit.  What have we got there?

0:18     Voice 1: “Oh, they made a mistake in that ad.”

0:19     Mike: “Oh, yeah. Well, you don’t got no work for me?”

0:23     Voice 1: “Well, you don’t understand it. See what it says on the Situations Wanted.”

0:25     Mike: “Yeah.”

0:27     Voice 1: “Yes, they made a mistake. They’ve asked you if you can call me [Inaudible 00:28], but I’m lookin’ for work.”

0:29     Mike: “Hey! I know what it’s like.”

0:31     Voice 1: “He-he, you’ve… you paint in the union?”

0:34     Mike: ‘Nahhhh! I don’t go with that union shit. You know what I mean. I paint everything.  I’m a painter. I paint my car. I paint everything.”

0:39     Voice 1: “Huh! You’re like me. You know I’m lookin’ for work…”

0:40     Mike: “Yeah.”

0:40     Voice 1: “…myself, you know.”

0:41     Mike: “I just did some job on my car. Beautiful! I used the roller there, the paint brush. It came out beautiful.”

0:46     Voice 1: “Oh yeah.”

0:46     Mike: “Huh! I’m good. I’m good. So you got no paintin’ for me, uh?”

0:50     Voice 1: “I’m not workin’ myself. I’m lookin’ for work.”

0:51     Mike: “What about tapin’?”

0:53     Voice 1: “Nothin’.”

0:54     Mike: “Yeah, huh!”

0:54     Voice 1: “I’m sorry, you know.”

0:55     Mike: “Yeah. I hear you fruitcake.  You gotta help me out though if you could.”

0:58     Voice 1: “I would.”

0:59     Mike: “Yeah. You couldn’t help me though, huh?”

1:01     Voice 1: “No ’cos I’m not working myself.”

1:03     Mike: “Oh, I paint my toe nails, everything.”

1:04     Voice 1: “Ha, ha, ha!”

1:05     Mike: “Paint the walls. I’m silly. I love it. They call me Rubberneck.”

1:09     Voice 1: “Oh yeah?”

1:10     Mike: “Yeah.”

1:11     Voice 1: “Heh!”

1:11     Mike: “So, what do you say we get together and paint each other up?”

1:15     Voice 1: “Yeah. Forget about it.”

1:16     Mike: “Hey! We’re good like that, right? Paint the town, night on the town, right, Mike? What do you say Bill?”

1:22     Voice 1: “Give me your number.”

1:23     Mike: “Alright, you ready chief?”

1:25     Voice 1: “Yeah. You live in the city?”

1:26     Mike: “Yeah, 555-5785.”

1:32     Voice 1: “What part of the city you live?”

1:33     Mike: “Uh, down in the Village area there.”

1:35     Voice 1: “Oh, you’re way downtown.”

1:36     Mike: “Yaw shoosh, way downtown fruitcake. Look, any help you can give me, I appreciate it.”

1:40     Voice 1: “So I will.”

1:41     Mike: “Okay, sizzlechest.”

1:42     Voice 1: “What’s your name?”

1:43     Mike: “My name is Mike. Okay! I appreciate it.”

1:47     Voice 1: “Okay, somethin’ comes along.”

1.48     Mike: “Hey! God bless us all. Huh! God bless you babe.”

1.51     Voice 1: “Okay, thank you.”

1:52     Mike: “Wish you luck in the future. Say you a prayer.”

1:53     Voice 1: “Thank you. “

1:54     Mike: “Okay. See you later fruitcake.”

1:55     Voice 1: “Okay, bye.’