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The Home Wrecker

The Jerky Boys, album 1

Title: The Home Wrecker

Characters: Jocko Johnson

Summary:

The skit revolves around Jocko Johnson, who calls a demolition service seeking to tear down a house. His motive is fueled by his partner leaving him, and he wants revenge by demolishing the house she left behind. Jocko insists on urgency, wanting it done before she returns from a trip, aiming for a surprise.

The comedic element unfolds as Jocko, in his brash and insensitive manner, interacts with the female receptionist. He provides the address and details about the house, emphasizing the urgency and his desire for a quick demolition. Amid the conversation about the demolition, Jocko attempts flirtation, making inappropriate comments to the receptionist about running a potential hot dog stand after the demolition.

The receptionist handles the call professionally, attempting to gather necessary information while trying to politely brush off Jocko’s advances. Despite his persistent and crass comments, she maintains her composure and promises to have her boss call him back regarding the demolition request.

The skit combines humor with the contrast between Jocko’s aggressive, impulsive behavior and the receptionist’s professional demeanor. Jocko’s inappropriate comments and the receptionist’s subtle dismissals create the comedic tension throughout the conversation. Ultimately, the skit ends with the receptionist politely ending the call after Jocko’s persistent advances.

Transcript:

0:00 Phone rings..

0:02 Voice 1: “Good afternoon. Can I help you?”

0:03 Jocko Johnson: “Yeah. I’d like to speak to demolition.”

0:05 Voice 1: “Ahh, yes. Demolition. Okay, you’re looking for Ron. Ron is not in at this moment, but I could have him call you.”

0:11 Jocko Johnson: “Well, look. Here’s the problem there toots!”

0:13 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

0:13 Jocko Johnson: “My old lady left me, you see and I want to even with her. I want to… I want you people to break a goddamn house down.”

0:20 Voice 1: “Uh-huh! Okay. Where is this house located?”

0:24 Jocko Johnson: “It’s located there on 69th Street and Metropolitan Avenue.”

2:28 Voice 1: “Sixty-ninth Street and Metropolitan?”

0:31 Jocko Johnson: “Yeah. That’s in Queens.”

0:32 Voice 1: “Metropolitan and the [Inaudible 00:34] in Queens. Ahh, whereabouts? Where … near where?”

0:40 Voice 1: “It’s a little… small, little house. It’s black. It’s a tiny little house, right.”

0:45 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 00:45].”

0:46 Jocko Johnson: “It’s right on the corner there. It’s 6903. She left me. I… I want the fuckin’ thing thrown down now. I want to put up a… the hot dog stand or some shit.”

0:56 Voice 1: “Right, right. Okay…uh, what is your name?”

1:00 Jocko Johnson: “Right now… here’s the problem there.”

1:02 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

1:03 Jocko Johnson: “I want you people doin’ as fast as possible….”

1:06 Voice 1: “Right.”

1:06 Jocko Johnson: “…’cos she’s away on a trip.”

1:08 Voice 1: “Okay… and what is your name?”

1:11 Jocko Johnson: “Alright there, miss.”

1:12 Voice 1: “Hello.”

1:13 Jocko Johnson: “Yeah, it’s Jocko.”

1:15 Voice 1: “Jocko?”

1:16 Jocko Johnson: “Jocko Johnson.”

1:17 Voice 2: “Who?”

1:18 Voice 1: “Alrighty and your phone number.”

1:21 Jocko Johnson: “Alright then, so it’s… listen.”

1:23 Voice 1: “Uh-huh. Mr. Johnson!”

1:25 Jocko Johnson: “Yeah.”

1:26 Voice 1: “Okay, I would need a number so…”

1:27 Jocko Johnson: “Okay then. It’s…”

1:28 Two honks

1:29 Jocko Johnson: “Six-nine-one-three-seven. Ask for Jocko.”

1:33 Voice 1: “Three-seven… okay, Jocko.”

1:35 Some background noise

1:36 Voice 1: “Jocko. Uh and you will like this service done as soon as possible?”

1:40 Jocko Johnson: “Yeah, I want you to tear the goddamn thing down as soon as possible ’cos I want her to have the biggest surprise of her life.”

1:48 Voice 1: “Life… I understand. Okay, what I’m going to do is I’m going to give this message to my boss. I’m going to have him call ya as soon as possible, alright?”

1:56 Jocko Johnson: “Alright there sweet cakes.”

1:57 Voice 1: “[Inaudible 01:57].”

1:58 Jocko Johnson: “[Inaudible 01:58] listen here. What do you say after we do dis thing me and you get together?”

2:03 Voice 1: “I don’t know.”

2:04 Jocko Johnson: “You have a cute voice.”

2:05 Voice 1: “Thank you.”

2:06 Jocko Johnson: “Well, you know maybe when I knock down this fuckin’ joint and put up a hot dog stand, maybe you could run it.”

2:12 Voice 1: “Oh that would be nice. That would be very nice.”

2:15 Jocko Johnson: “Are your fingers good?”

2:16 Voice 1: “Excuse me.”

2:17 Voice 1: “Are your fingers good ’cos you need good fingers to handle hot dogs.”

2:20 Voice 1: “Uh, I’m sure [Inaudible 02:21].”

2:23 Jocko Johnson: “’Cos I got one of those big ones.”

2:25 Voice 1: “Alrighty. Okay, I’ll have him call you.”

2:27 Jocko Johnson: “Alright there, sweet tits.”

2:29 Voice 1: “Yes. Bye-bye.”