The Duck Cleaning

The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me!

Title: Duck Cleaning

Characters:

Summary:

Transcript:

 

0:00 Phone rings

0:02 Chysel: ‘Hello.”

0:03 Voice 1:“Hello.”

0:04 Chysel: “Is this duck cleanin’?

0:06 Voice 1: “Yes, it is. May I ask who’s speaking?”

0:08 Chysel:  “This is Chysel.”

0:11: Voice 1: “Who?”

0:12 Chysel: “Chysel.”

0:13 Voice 1: “Chysel who?”

0:14 Chysel:  “My name is Chysel.”

0:16 Voice 1: “Chysel?”

0:17 Chysel: “Right. This is duck cleaning, right?”

0:19 Voice 1: “Correct.”

0:20 Chysel: “Yeah, I went hunting yesterday with my grandson. We bagged some ducks. We don’t know how to clean ‘em.”

0:27 Voice 1: [Laughs] Okay. We don’t do that kind of duck cleaning, sir. Neither can we clean geese or chicken. We clean air ducts. Maybe you…”

0:35 Chysel: “They were fine in the air. They were going quack. quack, quack.”

0:38: Voice 1: “What is this?”

0:39: Chysel: “Look up. I got me a [Inaudible 00:46] now.”

0:46 Voice 1: “You do.”

0:47 Chysel: “Right.”

0:48 Voice1: “Oh, that [Inaudible 00:48] should be pretty nice. Do you have…?”

0:50 Chysel: “I told my wife down on it.”

0:51 Voice 1: [Laughs]

0:53 Chysel: “What’s so funny? You ever see what my wife looks like in a negligee?”

0:58 Voice 1”: [Laughs]

0:59 Chysel: “She neglected her body should I say.”

1:02 Voice 1: “Oh my God!  Who am I speaking with?”

1:05 Chysel: “This is Chysel.

1:06 Voice 1: “Chysel, who?”

1:07 Chysel: “I heard you clean ducks, that’s why I called.”

1:09 Voice 1: “Okay, but you already made the [Inaudible 01:11] your ducks are already clean.”

1:14 Chysel: “No. no. They are all filthy.”

1:16 Voice 1: “Oh, they are?”

1:17 Chysel: “Yeah, they are…”

1:18 Voice 1: “What is your home address?’

1:19 Chysel: “The pillows stink. It smells like that ducks”

1:23 Voice 1: “Who is this?”

1:24 Chysel: “Quack, quack, quack.”

1:30 Voice 1: “Hello.”

1:31 Chysel: “My grandson bagged a few ducks.”

1:33 Voice 1: “He did?”

1:34 Chysel: “What’s good for the goose is good for my grandkid.”

1:38 Voice 1: “Is it?” [Laughs]

1:40 Chysel: “Hello.”

1:41 Voice 1: “Oh.”

1:42 Chysel: “Hello.”

1:43 Voice1: “Would you like me to schedule you for the work to be done?”

1:44 Chysel: “Thank you”

1:45 Voice 1: “May I ask who I’m speaking with?”

1:46 Chysel: “This is Chysel.”

1:47 Voice 1: “Okay. What’s your home address?

1:48 Chysel: “Quack, quack, quack.”

1:51 Voice 1: [Laughs] “Who is this?”[Inaudible 00:54]

1:56 Chysel: “I’ll give you my address.”

1:58 Voice 1: “And where’s that?”

2:00 Chysel: “Hello,”

2:01 Voice 1: “Huh.”

2:02 Chysel: “What you laughing at?”

2:03 Voice 1: [Laughs]

2:04 Chysel: “You’ve never see ducks before?”

2:07 Voice1: “Huh?”

2:08 Chysel: “You’ve never a duck before?

2:09 Voice1: “No…”

2:10 Chysel: “Look up…quack, quack, quack,”

2:15 Voice 1: [Laughs] No, I haven’t”

2:18 Chysel: “Thank you”

2:19 Voice 1 hangs up.