Terrorist Pizza – the woke version

Title: “Socially Conscious Pizza Delivery”

[Scene: A bustling pizzeria where socially conscious employees work diligently. The phone rings and one of the employees, named Alex, picks up.]

Alex: Good day, you’ve reached the socially conscious pizza shop. How may I assist you in promoting equity and justice through pizza consumption?

Caller: Uh, yeah, I’d like to order a large pizza.

Alex: Absolutely, sir! Could you kindly share your preferred toppings, keeping in mind our commitment to sustainable and locally sourced ingredients?

Caller: Uh, okay. I’ll have some organic tomatoes, fair-trade mushrooms, cruelty-free cheese, and uh… let’s see… how about some ethically raised chicken?

Alex: Excellent choice, sir! Your commitment to ethical consumption is truly commendable. Would you like any additional toppings to further diversify your culinary experience and support marginalized communities?

Caller: Um, yeah, throw on some spinach and artichokes, please.

Alex: Wonderful! And before we proceed, could you please confirm your stance on environmental conservation and your willingness to pay a carbon offset fee for delivery?

Caller: Uh, sure, yeah, whatever.

Alex: Fantastic. Your order will be prepared with the utmost care and delivered to your location promptly. Thank you for choosing Socially Conscious Pizza. Together, we can create a more equitable and sustainable world, one slice at a time.

[End of Scene]