Picos Mexican Hairpiece

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Pico’s Mexican Hairpiece

Characters: Pico

Summary: 

A boss wants a hairpiece on a kid he took off the street. The kid does not speak much English and gets offended. Then Pico gets on the phone and asks if they do plugs.

Transcript:

0:01 Phone rings…

0:03 Voice 1: “How may I help you?”

0:04 Voice 2: “Hello?”

0:05 Voice 1: ‘Hello.”

0:06 Voice 2: “Right. This is (Ketzel). I want you to put a hairpiece on a fellow I got workin’ for me. I own a nice big store. And I got some kid I took off the street but he looks so silly. I told him why don’t you get one of ’em hairpieces on. But he gets pretty offended ‘coz he don’t speak English too good.”

0:25 Voice 1: “Well, sure. We can fix him up.”

0:27 Voice 2: “I met him on the street. He was pickin’ daisies and what-not. I said you want a job. I’ll give you a job. And he said – I don’t know what he said truthfully. I can’t understand him.”

0:36 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

0:37 Voice 2: “Yeah. But what he needs – he needs a good hairstyle, of course. I don’t know. I don’t know. There’s something about his appearance.”

0:44 Voice 1: “Where do you work?”

0:45 Voice 2: “His name, his name is Pico or something like that.”

0:47 Voice 1: “Pico.”

0:48 Pico: “What? Hello? Hello?”

0:51 Voice 1: “Hello.”

0:52 Pico: “Yeah. This is Pico.”

0:53 Voice 1: “Yeah, Pico.”

0:54 Pico: “He wants to make me get a hair on top of my head because he says he don’t like my head the way it is now.”

0:59 Voice 1: “Well, that’s good. We can fix you up. I have one.”

1:01 Pico: “OK. How is it – what do you do there? Plugs or something like that?”

1:05 Voice 1: “No. No. I’m going to fix you up a nice hairpiece.”

1:08 Pico: “OK. That sounds good. I put it on top of my head. What do you do and how do you do it?”

1:13 Voice 1: “Well, you got this tape and you just stick up there and it stays there.”

1:17 Pico: “This piece of hair I tape it on the back of my hair or how does it go?”

1:22 Voice 1: “No. No. No. You tape it on the hairpiece that sticks on your head.”

1:25 Pico: “Hold on. You talk…”

1:26 Voice 2: “Hey, why you get off the (inaudible)? Get off. Go back to work. Go – hello?”

1:33 Voice 1: “Hello.”

1:34 Voice 2: “Yeah. What? I want him to get a hairpiece but I don’t really appreciate you…”

1:38 Pico: “I was only kind of explaining something to him. He tried to tell me.”

1:41 Voice 2: “Get away from me. I don’t appreciate you tryin’ to take my business away speaking to the guy like this because, you know, he gotta get to work.”

1:51 Voice 1: “Oh, I see.”

1:52 Voice 2: “Yeah, because – oh – get back. Go to work.”

1:56 Pico: “(Inaudible 01:56). Who the hell are you?”

1:58 Voice 2: “I said go to work. Hey, you know, I don’t know where you get off speakin’ to him about hairstyles when he got work to do.”

2:06 Voice 1: “Yeah, I see.”

2:07 Voice 2: “You know, I caught him stealing some peanuts and some money and he keeps sendin’ it to his family.”

2:13 Pico: “Who the fuck are you?! You’re a liar!”

2:15 Voice 2: “Get back to work before I give you a beatin’. OK? Are you there?”

2:20 Voice 1: ‘I’m here.”

2:21 Voice 2: “Right. You know, yesterday I kicked him so hard that he would say I don’t understand. He is acting crazy now.”

2:28 Voice 1: “Uh-huh.”

2:29 Voice 2: “Yeah, because I kicked him in his little hiney.”

2:32 Voice 1: “Oh, I see.”

2:33 Voice 2: “Right. OK. You are starting to – you’re really gettin’ on my case now. OK? I’ll see you later.”

2:38 Voice 1: “OK.”

Pico’s Mexican Hairpiece – Pico

Johnny Brennan is Pico. The boss met him picking daisies. Pico will put the piece on top of the hair he already has, if they tell him how it stays up.