Chainsaw Shock – Part 2
The Jerky Boys, album 3
Title: Chainsaw Shock, Pt. 2
Characters: Sol Rosenberg
Summary: What starts as a normal chainsaw sale goes wrong quickly after Sol takes a tumble. But don’t worry, his son is coming and he’s sitting and smoking and watching television.
Transcript:
0:01 Phone rings…
0:05 Sol: “Hi”
0:06 Caller: “Hello”
0:07 Sol: “Hi”
0:08 Caller: “Hi, I called before about the chainsaw. You ok?”
0:11 Sol: “Yes, oh I’m fine thank you. I took a terrible tumble.”
0:14 Caller: “Oh my goodness.”
0:15 Sol: “Yes. I’m sorry.”
0:16 Caller: “No that’s ok, did you hurt yourself?”
0:19 Sol: “Ohh yes I did. I’m, I’m ok though. I’m up in the chair now.”
0:23 Caller: “Ok. Think you should call a doctor?”
0:25 Sol: “Oh no, no, no. No I’m ok now.”
0:27 Caller: “Alright, ok.”
0:28 Sol: “My ankle is twisted though, I can see like a little piece of the bone stickin’ out. But I think I’m ok, I’ll wait for my son to get home.”
0:37 Caller: “You see a piece of the bone sticking out?”
0:39 Sol: “Yes, I twisted it so bad it, it’s like… Now I’m in the recliner and my foot is hanging off the side of the recliner.”
0:47 Caller: “Is there, is there blood?”
0:49 Sol: “Well it’s not bleeding. I’m sure it was just a clean break. But I’m ok, I’m ok.”
0:53 Caller: “I think you better call your son.”
0:54 Sol: “Well, he’s on his way. So my foot it’ll will just dangle for a moment until he gets home.”
0:57 Caller: “Ok.”
0:58 Sol: “Th-thank you.”
1:00 Caller: “Alright, so should I wait and call back when your son is there?”
1:02 Sol: “Well, I think I must be in shock or something because, I feel wonderful. I’m, I’m sitting and smoking and watching television.”
1:10 Caller: *laughing* “oh, okay. Well, should I call about that chainsaw when he gets home.”
1:15 Sol: *grunting in pain* “oh, oh.”
1:17 Caller: “Should I wait? Or leave a phone number?”
1:20 Sol: “Uhh uh, pardon me.”
1:22 Caller: “Should I wait and call back later when your son-”
1:24 Sol: *in pain* “ooooh, I’m just rubbing it down now. It’s just a little funny, I got like a tingler in it. You know?”
1:29 Caller: “Yeah”
1:30 Sol: “It tingles. It’s like tingly. I think I’m in shock, is probably what it is.”
1:34 Caller: “Do you want me to call an ambulance?”
1:35 Sol: “Oh, no no. Don’t you be so troublesome toward me, no no. That’s-that’s leveling all sorts of charges at me. Please. I don’t need that.”
1:44 Caller: “Ok.”
1:45 Sol: “My foot seems to be fine as long as it swings like that. I don’t see any blood.”
1:50 Caller: “Good.”
1:51 Sol: “Just like the little end of the bone sticking out there. But it – it seems to be hangin’ on by like skin. So I think I’m ok.”
1:57 Caller: “Ok.”
1:58 Sol: “And he should be home any moment.”
1:59 Caller: “Ok good, he’ll take care of you.”
2:01 Sol: “Yes, thank you.”
2:02 Caller: “Alright, I’ll call back later ok?”
2:03 Sol: “Yes, well you can call me back; later, that would be beautiful.”
2:06 Caller: “Yeah, I just want to buy that chainsaw if it’s still available.”
2:09 Sol: *sniffling* “Ok, I’ll get back to you right away with that. And don’t be- don’t be so sorry for me.”
2:14 Caller: “Ok, I won’t.”
2:15 Sol: “Because I’m- i’m a very sorry person. And I’m very good, thank you. I’m fine. Thank you very much.”
2:21 Caller: “Bye.”
2:22 Sol: “Bye, bye.”