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The Jerky Boys Album 2

Track List

“Pablo Honey” (0:39)
“Drinking Problem” (1:44)
“Pet Cobra” (0:57)
“Sol’s Warts” (1:46)
“Breast Enlargement” (2:17)
“Roofing” (2:39)
“Gay Hairdresser” (2:00)
“Volunteer” (1:50)
“Terrorist Pizza” (2:40)
“Pico’s Mexican Hairpiece” (2:38)
“A Little Emergency” (1:05)
“Sparky The Clown” (1:56)
“Security Service” (3:48)
“Sol’s Nude Beach” (2:25)
“Diamond Dealer” (1:55)
“Sol’s Naked Photo” (1:25)
“The Mattress King” (1:52)
“Ball Game Beating” (2:52)
“Sporting Goods” (1:10)
“Scaffolding” (1:05)
“Sex Therapy” (1:45)
“Sol’s Phobia” (2:56)
“Cremation Services” (1:42)
“Pizza Lawyer” (2:41)
“Fava Beans” (1:34)
“Husband Beating” (1:23)
“*Bonus Track” (0:06)

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Sol’s Naked Photo

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Sol’s Naked Photo

Characters:

Summary: The skit begins with two voices conversing, with Voice 2 expressing a desire for a nude photograph due to feeling shy and embarrassed. Voice 1 agrees to take the picture. However, the conversation takes an unexpected turn when Voice 2 reveals it’s for their wife, who admires their “muffin ass.” Despite Voice 1’s confusion, they agree to take the photo, insisting it will not feature them in it. As Voice 2 continues to express self-consciousness about their appearance, they abruptly end the conversation when they fear their wife’s arrival, promising to call back. The skit humorously navigates the awkwardness of a request for a nude photo while blending in unexpected and quirky elements, culminating in a sudden exit as Voice 2 rushes off to avoid being caught by their spouse.

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Diamond Dealer

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Diamond dealer

Characters: Operator

Summary:

The skit is a comical exchange between an individual, Voice 1, attempting to unload “stones” and a series of operators. Initially, Voice 1 calls, referring to having “stones” to get rid of, eventually revealing they mean kidney stones and are mistakenly mixing up their intent with rocks and diamonds.

The conversation unfolds with Voice 1 insisting on speaking to someone who can handle their business, but they continuously get transferred to different operators who struggle to comprehend the situation. Voice 1 becomes increasingly frustrated, accusing the operators of being illiterate and demanding to speak to someone in charge.

Finally, Voice 1 connects with Voice 3, addressing them in a familiar manner and trying to negotiate the sale of their kidney stones. However, Voice 3 seems confused and unwilling to engage in such a transaction, leading to a clash where Voice 1 emphasizes their American mentality and the idea of survival of the fittest before abruptly ending the call.

Throughout, there’s a humorous confusion between the term “stones” referring to kidney stones and precious stones like diamonds, leading to a misunderstanding between the caller and the operators, culminating in an amusing clash of intentions and miscommunication.

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Sol’s Nude Beach

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Sol’s Nude Beach

Characters: Sol Rosenberg

Summary:

The skit opens with a phone call where a woman answers and a person named Sol asks for Jim. There’s confusion over Sol’s name, but he persistently mentions joining a nudist camp, claiming Jim invited him due to past mistreatment at a New York nudist camp. He expresses a desire to avoid abuse, wanting to walk on the beach peacefully. The woman, revealed to be Jim’s mother, is surprised and concerned, assuring Sol she’ll discuss it with Jim upon his return. Sol continues to detail his past traumatic experiences at the New York camp, emphasizing his hope for a better, safer experience if he joins Jim.

The conversation remains comedic due to the absurdity of Sol’s claims about being abused at the nudist camp and his expectations of a new, more pleasant experience. The punchline comes from the woman revealing she’s Jim’s mother and her shock at the conversation’s direction. Sol’s persistent insistence on his traumatic experiences clashes hilariously with the innocent confusion of Jim’s mother, leading to an unexpected and humorous misunderstanding.

Throughout, the skit plays on the contrast between Sol’s exaggerated stories and the woman’s increasing surprise and disbelief, ending with her promise to address the situation with Jim. The absurdity of Sol’s claims juxtaposed with the unsuspecting nature of the woman creates a comedic tension, culminating in an unexpected twist when she reveals her identity as Jim’s mother.

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A Little Emergency

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: A little Emergency

Characters:

Summary:

The skit opens with a phone call to a sports store inquiring about tennis ball firing machines. The caller reveals an odd situation where they rented a tennis machine to shoot boiled potatoes coated in Vaseline at each other for fun. The caller’s friend, Peter, got injured as a result, with a blue-colored injury on his behind. They seek help to fix the machine, stating it fires too hard. The chaos continues as another friend got hit in the eye by a potato while inspecting the machine’s alignment with his rear end. Throughout the conversation, the store clerk responds with short and somewhat disinterested remarks, creating a humorous contrast to the absurdity of the situation. The skit showcases a bizarre and comical scenario where a recreational activity with a tennis ball machine goes awry, resulting in unexpected injuries and the need for urgent repair.

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Terrorist Pizza

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Terrorist Pizza

Characters:

Summary:

The skit portrays a frantic and escalating conversation between two voices, presumably a customer and a pizza place representative. Voice 2, a furious and distressed customer, accuses the pizza place of delivering contaminated food that made their family sick. They express extreme anger, threatening legal action and even violence, demanding compensation for the illness caused by the allegedly tainted pizza. Voice 1, the representative, attempts to calm the situation, offering a coupon as a gesture of goodwill and suggesting contacting the main office for further assistance. However, Voice 2 remains irate, dismissing the coupon and continuing to express fury and threats towards the representative. Despite Voice 1’s attempts to assist and seek resolution, Voice 2’s anger intensifies, culminating in aggressive language and a refusal to engage in any further discussion.

The skit effectively portrays the escalating frustration and anger of a customer dissatisfied with a product, highlighting the challenges faced by customer service representatives in handling such extreme situations. The customer’s escalating threats and the representative’s persistent attempts at resolution create a tense and dramatic exchange, showcasing the difficulties in managing customer complaints and attempting to pacify highly agitated individuals.

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Gay Hairdresser

The Jerky Boys, album 2

Title: Gay Hairdresser

Characters:

Summary:

The skit unfolds as a phone conversation between two individuals, Voice 1 and Voice 2, discussing a potential job opportunity. Voice 2 expresses interest in a job related to hairstyling, indicating a willingness to bring in a considerable clientele. However, the conversation takes an unexpected turn as Voice 2 begins detailing their unconventional and extreme methods in hairstyling, including carving designs into clients’ heads using Novocain and experiencing altercations due to dissatisfaction with their work.

Voice 1 attempts to steer the conversation back to professional matters, emphasizing the conservative nature of the Wall Street clientele they cater to. Despite Voice 2’s eccentricity and bold claims about their work, Voice 1 remains polite and schedules an interview for the upcoming week.

As the conversation progresses, Voice 2 reveals increasingly bizarre aspects of their work, mentioning carving designs on their own children’s heads. However, the situation takes a stark turn when Voice 1 discloses the job location at the Trade Center, prompting surprise from Voice 2, who realizes the prestigious location they’ve been discussing.

The skit ends with the confirmation of a meeting scheduled for the following Wednesday, leaving Voice 1 bewildered by the conversation’s eccentricity but maintaining a polite demeanor.

Overall, the skit humorously portrays the mismatch between a professional setting seeking conservative hairstyling services and an overly eccentric candidate whose extreme and unconventional methods clash with the expected norms, leading to an amusingly awkward and surprising exchange.

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