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Frank Puma

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Laundromat – the woke version

Title: “Community Hub”

[The scene opens in a bustling laundromat. Various people are going about their business, sorting clothes, loading machines, and folding laundry. The ambiance is friendly and diverse.]

Caller: [In a respectful tone] Hello, is this the community hub?

Laundromat Employee: Yes, welcome to our space. How can I assist you today?

Caller: I just wanted to inquire about your laundry services and also discuss some ideas for making this space even more inclusive and accessible for everyone.

Laundromat Employee: That sounds wonderful! We’re always looking for ways to improve. What ideas do you have in mind?

Caller: Well, first off, I noticed that some of the machines are a bit outdated and might not be as user-friendly for individuals with disabilities. Perhaps we could explore options for upgrading to more accessible machines?

Laundromat Employee: Absolutely, that’s an excellent suggestion. We’ll look into that right away.

Caller: Great! And I also wanted to talk about language inclusivity. It’s important to make sure that everyone feels welcome here, regardless of their native language. Maybe we could offer multilingual signage and support for those who may not speak English fluently?

Laundromat Employee: That’s a fantastic point. We’ll work on implementing multilingual resources to ensure that everyone can easily navigate and understand our services.

Caller: Wonderful! Lastly, I think it would be fantastic to host community events here at the laundromat. It could be a space for workshops, discussions, and even performances, bringing people together and fostering a sense of belonging.

Laundromat Employee: I love that idea! We’ll start planning some events right away and reach out to local organizations to collaborate on programming.

Caller: Thank you so much for being receptive to these suggestions. I truly believe that by working together, we can create a more inclusive and welcoming environment for everyone in our community.

Laundromat Employee: Absolutely! We’re committed to serving our community in the best way possible. Thank you for your input, and we look forward to implementing these changes.

[The call ends, leaving the atmosphere of the laundromat buzzing with anticipation for positive change and inclusivity.]

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Laundromat – The Jerky Boys 4

00:00:03 Frank Puma: “What the fuck can they be?”

00:05 Speaker 2: “Laundry.”

00:06 Frank Puma: “Yeah, who’s in charge over there?”

00:07 Speaker 2: “Who’s calling?”

00:09 Frank Puma: “Yeah, this is Puma. Frank Puma. I had my little boy go there and leave off some laundry. We got it back now. It’s not even folded. It’s all wrinkled. What kind of place are you running over there?”

00:21 Speaker 2: “When did you bring it?”

00:24 Frank Puma: “I brought it there this morning? See, I brought it there cause the ad said you wash, fold, do all that mumbo jumbo stuff. But when I got it back, I told my kid, you know, I smacked my kid.”

00:34 Speaker 2: “I did no work for Puma.”

00:37 Frank Puma: “That’s my name there, sweetheart. My kid just came there just now and picked it up. You know, you gotta run a business better than that.”

00:44 Speaker 2: “No, he didn’t pick it up. Are you sure?”

00:47 Frank Puma: “Are you calling me a liar?”

00:49 Speaker 2: “Listen, I know what I did.”

00:52 Frank Puma: “Okay. Okay. How about we –”

00:54 Speaker 2: “I have a list of… work I do.”

00:57 Frank Puma: “Okay, honey. How about we do this? How about I send my kid there right now, and we collect our money back.”

01:02 Speaker 2: “No, I didn’t do your work.”

01:05 Frank Puma: “Oh, so you’re saying this is all a makeup story on your part. I never came in there. I’ll show you the clothes now.”

01:10 Speaker 2: “I can’t see your son.”

01:12 Frank Puma: “I’ll send my son there right now.”

01:15 Speaker 2: “I can’t see your son. Because I did nothing for nobody by the name of Puma.”

01:19 Frank Puma: “He said he was talking to you for 20 minutes about Lost In Space and all these TV shows. I know you.”

01:24 Speaker 2: “Are you sure you got the right laundromat?”

01:27 Frank Puma: “Of course I got the right laundromat. It’s on the [beep], right?”

01:32 Speaker 2: “Yes.”

01:33 Frank Puma: “You’re 54 [beep] avenue.”

01:36 Speaker 2: “Well, your son is lying to you, sir.”

01:38 Frank Puma: “You call me — you saying my son’s a liar then?” You’re accusing my sweet little angel face son of being a liar. How dare you! How about I come there right now and lick you down. You don’t say that to me. My son’s a good little kid.”

01:57 Speaker 2: “Who is this?”

01:58 Frank Puma: “This is Puma, Frank Puma. I’ve been living here for 28 years. My son comes down there, gives you clothes. You give it back all fucked you, not folded.”

02:09 Speaker 2: “He didn’t give me no clothes.”

02:12 Frank Puma: “Here he is right now. Hey Jason, you went to that place over there at 54 [inaudible 2:16] Laundromat? Yeah, I went there. He tells me he went there.”

02:26 Speaker 2: “Can you put him on the phone, please?”

02:27 Frank Puma: “Hold on a minute. Speak to this lady.”

02:32 Anthony  Puma: “Hello.”

02:33 Speaker 2: “Hello?”

02:34 Anthony  Puma: “Yes.”

02:35 Speaker 2: “Who is this?”

02:26 Anthony  Puma: “This is Anthony. I went this morning to pick up the clothes.”

02:41 Speaker 2: “[inaudible].”

02:45 Frank Puma: “You see what you did to him?! Get back here. You lied to me.”

02:54 Speaker 2: “What kind of joke is this? Are you prancking up?”

02:56 Frank Puma: “He’s lying, he lied to me. You lied.”