The Flower Lady #4
The Jerky Tapes (Album 6) Title: The Flower Lady #4 Characters: Summary: Transcript:
Irate Tile Man – the woke version
Title: “Empathetic Flooring Specialist”Characters:Rajesh – Empathetic Flooring SpecialistCustomer – Concerned Homeowner[Phone rings]Rajesh: (picks up) Hello, this is Rajesh speaking, how may I assist you today?Customer: Yeah, hi. I’m having a bit of an issue with some tiles I had installed.Rajesh: Oh, I’m terribly sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?Customer: Well, you […]
Sol’s Civil War Memorabilia
The Jerky Boys, album 3 Title: Sol’s Civil War Memorabilia Characters: Sol Rosenberg Summary: The skit revolves around a comical phone conversation regarding the sale of Civil War memorabilia. Voice 1 describes an eccentric individual with an assortment of items, including old guns, a Gatling gun causing neighborhood disturbances, cannons, and even a preserved foot […]
“Introduction” (Brennan)
Sol’s Rusty Trombone (Album 7) Title: “Introduction” (Brennan) Characters: Summary: Transcript:
Laundromat – the woke version
Title: “Community Hub”[The scene opens in a bustling laundromat. Various people are going about their business, sorting clothes, loading machines, and folding laundry. The ambiance is friendly and diverse.]Caller: [In a respectful tone] Hello, is this the community hub?Laundromat Employee: Yes, welcome to our space. How can I assist you today?Caller: I just wanted to […]
Rizzo The Rainmaker
0:01 Phone rings 0:05 Frank Rizzo: “Yeah?” 0:07 Speaker2: “Yes, I’m looking for the major league rainmaker.” 0:09 Frank Rizzo: “Yeah, what’s up?” 0:11 Speaker2: “Am I talking to the major league rainmaker?” 0:13 Frank Rizzo: “Yeah, I make it rain, snow, sleet, whatever the fuck you want.” 0:17 Speaker2: *laughs* “My name is Mike […]
Donald Trump wanted to prank-call CNN’s Chris Cuomo from White House
The recent uproar surrounding an alleged prank call scheme involving Donald Trump, Chris Cuomo of CNN, and Andrew Cuomo has stirred controversy in political and media circles.The Players InvolvedIn this saga, we have Donald Trump, the former President known for his unorthodox media approaches, and Chris Cuomo, a prominent CNN anchor. Andrew Cuomo, former governor […]
You wanna scrap – the woke version
Title: “Empathetic Encounter”Characters:Pat (Originally “Frank Rizzo”)Chris (Originally “The Jerky Boys”)[Pat is sitting peacefully in a park, enjoying the serenity of nature when Chris approaches.]Chris: Hey, brother, how’s it going?Pat: Hey there! I’m just taking in the beauty of this day. How about you?Chris: Yeah, it’s a gorgeous day indeed. I couldn’t help but notice your […]
The Flower Lady – the woke version
Title: “The Sustainable Garden Advocate”[The scene opens with a bustling city sidewalk. A person, named Alex, approaches a flower stand.]Alex: [Clears throat] Excuse me, ma’am, do you have a moment to talk about sustainable gardening practices?Flower Lady: Oh, sure, honey! What can I help you with?Alex: Well, I’m here to raise awareness about the environmental […]
“Rizzo – Pigeon Face” (Brennan)
Sol’s Rusty Trombone (Album 7) Title: “Rizzo – Pigeon Face” (Brennan) Characters: Summary: Transcript:
Bad Tomatoes
The Jerky Boys, album 3 Title: Bad Tomatoes Characters: Nikos Summary: The skit opens with a phone call between Sam and Nico, initially filled with confusion over the caller’s identity. Nico claims to be a friend of Tony Simos and urgently notifies Sam about a batch of bad tomatoes. Despite Sam’s repeated attempts to ascertain […]
Sol’s Glasses – the woke version
Title: “Sol’s Eyewear Dilemma”[Scene: A bustling urban street, where Sol, a socially conscious individual, walks along, sporting a pair of eco-friendly glasses made from recycled materials. He’s visibly agitated, trying to navigate through the crowd.]Sol: [muttering to himself] Gosh darn it, these recycled lenses are completely fogged up! How can I advocate for sustainability if […]
Pick Up Pie
The Jerky Boys, Stop Staring at Me! Title: Pick up Pie Characters: Frank Summary: Transcript:
Rosine Like Balloons
0:01 Phone rings 0:02 Speaker1: “Hello?” 0:02 Speaker2: “Hello?” 0:03 Speaker1: “Yes. Do you guys—do you have balloons?” 0:05 Speaker2: “Yeah.” 0:06 Speaker1: “You don’t have balloons?” 0:07 Speaker2: “Oh, what?” 0:08 Speaker1: “You guys don’t make balloons.” 0:10 Speaker2: “Yeah.” 0:11 Speaker1: “So, can I order balloons from you?” 0:12 Speaker2: “No, you have […]
Safety Gates – the woke version
Title: “Inclusivity Barriers”[Setting: A bustling office environment][Character 1, a conscientious employee, calls up Character 2, the office manager, with a concern.]Character 1: Hi, um, I wanted to talk to you about something I’ve noticed around the office. I’ve been thinking a lot about our workplace environment and inclusivity lately.Character 2: Oh, sure, what’s on your […]
Lawnmower Sale
The Jerky Boys, album 3 Title: Lawnmower Sale Characters: Big Ole’ Bad Ass Bob the Cattle Rustler Summary: The skit presents a comical phone conversation between two individuals discussing the sale of various items, primarily focusing on a lawnmower, a chainsaw, and a log splitter. The conversation, laden with sarcasm and humor, revolves around the […]
“Nicos – Meat Player” (Brennan)
Sol’s Rusty Trombone (Album 7) Title: “Nicos – Meat Player” (Brennan) Characters: Summary: Transcript:
Nuts to you – the woke version
Title: “Respectfully Decline”[Scene: A modern, socially conscious workplace setting. A desk phone rings, and a character named Terry, an advocate for respectful communication, answers.]Terry: Hello, this is Terry speaking, how may I help you today?Caller: Hey, how you doin’? I’m lookin’ for some nuts.Terry: Ah, I see. Well, we don’t actually sell nuts here, sir. […]
The Gay Model
The Jerky Boys, album 1 Title: The Gay Model Characters: Summary: The skit unfolds as Crystal receives a call from an enthusiastic but bizarre individual, Voice 1, inquiring about a modeling job. Crystal, seemingly oblivious to the oddity, engages in conversation, expressing excitement about the caller’s purported talents. However, things take a peculiar turn when […]
Bad Tomatoes – the woke version
Title: “Misunderstood Produce”[Setting: A trendy organic grocery store]Characters:Woke Activist (replacing Frank Rizzo)Conscious Shopper (replacing Jack Tors)Store Clerk[The Woke Activist enters the store, browsing through the produce section. The Conscious Shopper is also there, examining some tomatoes.]Woke Activist: (clearing throat) Excuse me, my friend, I couldn’t help but notice you’re eyeing those tomatoes.Conscious Shopper: Oh, yeah. […]
The Hot Mops – the woke version
Title: “The Eco-Friendly Cleaners”[Scene: A bustling city street.]Character 1: (Speaking into a headset) Hey, this is Alex, your eco-friendly cleaner. How can I help you today?Character 2: Yeah, hi. I need someone to come over and clean my apartment. It’s a bit of a mess.Character 1: Absolutely! We’ll take care of it. Just to let […]
Kissel Crooner
The Jerky Boys, album 3 Title: Kissel Crooner Characters: Kissel Summary: Transcript:
Diamond Dealer – the woke version
Title: Ethically Sourced Diamond Merchant[Scene: A phone rings, and a calm, soothing voice answers.]Voice: Good day, this is Emery speaking, how may I assist you?Caller: Hey Emery, it’s Dave.Emery: Ah, greetings, Dave. What brings you to my line today?Caller: Well, Emery, I’ve been on the lookout for an engagement ring for my partner, and I’ve […]
Food & Drug Complaint – the woke version
Title: Conscious Consumers’ Concern[The scene opens with a phone ringing in a bustling grocery store. A concerned voice picks up.]Store Clerk: Good day, how may I assist you?Caller: Hello, yes. I’m calling to voice some concerns about the products your store carries.Store Clerk: Of course, I’m here to help. What seems to be the issue?Caller: […]